11 things you'll only understand if you grew up on a farm

11 things you'll only understand if you grew up on a farm

Ahead of next weeks National Ploughing Championships in Fenagh, Co.Carlow we're getting into the farming mood and trying to be just a little bit more 'agri-spec'.

On this weeks Sunday Grill, Beat News journalist Aoife Kearns looked at agriculture and rural life here in the South East, in her documentary 'Beat goes farming'.

If you grew up on a farm, here's Aoife's list of just a few things you might remember...

1.Cursing your luck when you don’t get a lie in at the weekend :


Nothing equals the feeling of being awoken on a Saturday morning from a well needed lie-in, with the call of your father roaring “Get up we need to shift the cattle down from the hills".

And I don’t want to know what the pain of milking the morning after being on the absolute tear the night before is like..

2.But thanking your lucky stars when you get the day off of school for the Ploughing:


It’s the holy grail of all days out for the farming community – The National Ploughing Championships.

It's where young culchies stock up on free Biros and mugs for the year and if you're lucky even a re-usable tote bag that is the bomb for bringing to swimming lessons.

The true farmers stock up on their John Deere hat supply, spend hours looking at machinery and maybe watch the actual ploughing.

3. Watching your father transform into the Incredible Hulk :


Your ould fella, he’d do anything for you. You’re the best of friends until of course you make a really big boo boo.

Maybe it’s when you leave a mad Freisin heifer jump over a ditch or frighten a load of animals who were just about to come out of a field.

Not a pretty sight..

4. Suffering from hay-fever:

Nothing is worse than growing up on a farm with bad hay-fever- inhalers and antihistamines at the ready.

The sneezing, the red eyes, the sleepless night and can we have a minute of silence for the sufferers who have it and still cover the pit.

5.Being able to drive ridiculously young:

Thinking you’re a boss driving your father’s jeep around a field at roughly 15km/hr.

Steering the wheel of your father’s tractor around a field and telling your friends in school on Monday “Lads I was driving my father’s tractor at the weekend.”

6. Having a random family of wild cats appear in your barn:


The wild cats. No one knows where they come from, they just appear.

Everyone has an encounter with a family of wild cats on the farm at some stage, usually followed by a rake of kittens until there’s roughly a family of 25.

7. Having a full bacon and cabbage dinner ready for you before your friends even wake up:

The traditional farmers dinner.

One o’clock on the dot and I dare you to be late...

Usually consisting of at least three spuds and a nice bit of meat and veg in a different way each day.

If it’s an exotic chicken curry, potatoes are not forgotten.

8. Telling your townie friends to touch the electric fence for the banter:

There’s no better satisfaction really than telling your townie friends to “touch that wire there”.

When you accidentally get a shock it’s bad enough, but when you have no idea it’ll shock you, it’s twice as bad.

The poor feckers..

9. Using the “I have land” chat-up line:

This line makes all the land grabbing lads and lasses swoon, and if you have road frontage.. well my friend you’re guaranteed the shift.

10.Telling your friends to put their hands in the calves mouths and watching their reaction:

Showing off the ‘suckie’ calves to your friends when they come over was a custom, as was watching their minds blown when ya tell them to “put your hand in their mouth.”

11. Being late for after school activities because “Sorry Daddy had to milk the cows”:

Whether it was hurling training or Irish Dancing, it was usually on a very awkward time for the milking farmers.

If training was on at half -six, the milking machine could be still going at quarter past, and the sweat would be pouring out of you as you pray you’ll make it down on time.

Maybe doing that extra lap makes you bit fitter though?


'Beat goes farming' aired on this week's Sunday Grill, you can listen back right here: